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30 Days Till 30.
Lesson 13: The Real Reason Your Life Sucks.

Self-esteem and Self-confidence.

What is yours like?

You Become What You Believe About Yourself

Do you worry about the future and regret the past?

Do you put yourself down?

Do you avoid close personal relationships?

Do you fight addiction to food, drugs, sex, television, alcohol, pornography, or spending money?

Do you feel like your life sucks?

If you nodded yes to one or more of these questions above, you have low self-esteem.

Watch the video again. Take notes, and mimic her every day.

I could try to sugar coat it for you, but the truth is that all of the behavior noted above is self-defeating. And, only people with low self-esteem purposefully keep themselves down.

Here’s the deal. Having low self-esteem prevents you from being able to fully enjoy your life. What’s worse is that low self-esteem prevents you from setting goals, taking risks, and being your best self.

I’ll admit. It took me awhile to figure out how to really like myself.

Gasp! You like yourself?!?!?

Yeah. I do. I have many wonderful skills and talents, and I seek to use them for my own good and the good of others. That is what this blog is about.

What I want you to get is that until you start to really learn how to like yourself (maybe even love yourself), you will never reach your maximum potential. Retraining your thoughts and feelings about yourself can be difficult.

Developing a healthy self-confidence and self-esteem.

The first step to developing a healthy self-esteem is committing to the process. Once you have committed to developing a healthy relationship with yourself, try to do the following:

Keep an attitude of gratitude.
Look around you! The world is full or injustice and misfortune. Yes, you might have it bad. But, I’m willing to bet that someone else has it far worse. Be thankful for what you do have (and not just in terms of material things). Focus on the good nouns (persons, places, things, states, or qualities) in your life. Believe me there is at least ONE good thing.

Concentrate on your strengths.
You are good at something (whether or not you are willing to admit that to yourself is a different story). Figure out what you are good at and press into those things. Oftentimes coaches encourage you to work on your weaknesses. I think that is backwards advice. For example, if on a scale from 1 to 10 you are a 3 at writing, even with intense practice, you will probably never surpass a 6. However, if you are a 6 at writing, with intense practice, you will probably become a 9. Maybe even a 10! Work on the things your good at, and you will only get better at them. Then, you will gain self-confidence.

Set SMART goals.
SMART is a mnemonic used to help people set goals.
S stands for specific. Make your goals so simple to understand that a 6 year old would comprehend what you want to accomplish.
M stands for measurable. You need a standard by which to determine whether or not you have met your goal. If you have no standard, then your goal is not measurable.
A stands for attainable. Don’t make your goals so lofty that they feel out of reach. If you do this, you will quit before you begin. Make your goals a challenge, but reasonable.
R stands for relevant. Your goals need to bring you closer to your big picture desires. Typically you know a goal is relevant if you must accomplish it to get to the next step in a bigger goal, or if you are passionate about the goal itself. This element is important because it will help keep you going when you feel like giving up.
T stands for time-bound. If you plan on accomplishing any of your goals, you must set a deadline for yourself. Without a deadline, you are likely to make excuses for putting off your goals. Set a deadline and stick to it.

Setting goals is essential to developing self-confidence. As you achieve your goals, you will begin to believe in your abilities and build a healthy self-confidence. Start by setting 10 realistic goals today.

Develop positive self talk.
Learn to develop the habit of positive thinking. I used to think that forcing myself into “positive thinking” was hokey. Then I started doing it. Wow. I’m a believer. If you need help applying positive thinking to your life, pick up a copy of Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking(<– my affiliate link). It’s a timeless classic that can change the way you see yourself, and the world, if you keep an open mind.

Celebrate where you are.
If you have done something well—celebrate! Feeling frustrated or down? Make a list of things you’ve achieved thus far. Recall something you did to help someone else. Relive a risk you took that resulted in reward. Sometimes, you deserve a pat on the back…even if you have to give one to yourself.

In my experience as a female entrepreneur, I’ve found that the journey has many twists and turns. The only way I can thrive throughout the journey is by standing on a healthy, rock-solid self-confidence. For a long time, I wanted to be an entrepreneur. It wasn’t until I attained a healthy self-confidence that I became one.

What will you become once you have the self-esteem and self-confidence to be your best self?

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